2. The Red Flag
/Now that Cam and Ally have secured recent city transplant and sweet weirdo Samuel Clemens as their roommate, they can get back to doing what they do best: making fools of themselves. Ally flirts with a train conductor who makes overly familiar PA announcements, and Cam bonds with a woman on the train about how much they hate those overly familiar train PA announcements.
About
NEXT STOP is a Multitude production written and created by Eric Silver. You can read more about the show, including our full cast list and episode transcripts, at http://nextstopshow.com. We’re on Twitter and Instagram @NextStopShow. Join our Patreon (http://patreon.com/nextstopshow) to gain access to behind-the-scenes content, additional scenes, bloopers, and the opportunity to have your name included in the credits of Episode 10. Learn more about Multitude at http://multitude.productions
Credits
Written and Created by Eric Silver
Directed, Edited, and Sound Designed by Brandon Grugle
Executive Produced by Amanda McLoughlin
Assistant Directed, Casting, and Additional Editing by Julia Schifini
Starring
Yemie Sonuga (she/her/hers) as Ally Lonergan
Nick Fondulis (he/his/him) as Cameron Chabon
Ian Henry Walls (he/his/him) as Samuel Clemens
With
NJ Agwuna (she/her/hers) as Mattie/The Subway Announcer
Katherine Leidlein (she/they) as Lana
Production
Music by Evan Cunningham
Additional Scoring by Brandon Grugle
Art by Allyson Wakeman
Script Consulting by Octavia Bray
Production Consulting by Lauren Shippen
Engineered by Cara Ehlenfeldt
This podcast was recorded under the SAG-AFTRA Collective Bargaining Agreement using a cash advance from Patreon. Read more about the production process, download our free resources for fiction podcasters, and find pronouns and bios for all cast and crew at http://nextstopshow.com
Transcript
[NEXT STOP intro plays]
[Music fades into outdoor subway stop, and a train announcement]
Mattie (as subway station announcer): Attention all passengers. Due to people riding on top of the train like cool surfer dudes, the morning commute has been delayed. We’ll keep you abreast of the situation, but expect crowding of your usual trains. We’ll try to do better tomorrow.
Cam: Ugh. I hate that.
Samuel: You hate cool surfer dudes?
Cam: No. The announcements. The people on the other end are trying so hard to be liked. You have to break bad news, don’t be self-defeating. And who says “abreast”? What is that?
Samuel: I think they’re being fun. Upbeat, even in the morning.
Cam: Mm. I’m a copy editor at AverageBear, it’s my job to listen to word choices. And to want to change them.
Ally (imitating Cam): “Capital A, capital B! What’s so hard to understand about that?!”
Cam: Okay, I don’t sound like that.
Ally: Mmm, you do. I searched Twitter and you tweeted 20 variations of that this year alone.
Cam: Look, I care about word choice, okay! It’s my literal job! I have to correct the grammar of Internet influencers who learned how to write essays from their freshman year expository writing teacher who was 37, had braces, and wanted everyone to go out for drinks immediately after every class.
Samuel: ...Is this specific?
Cam: His name was Colm. He never flossed.
Ally: Your Twitter reveals your real self. That’s why, before I go on any date, I have a list of 30 words that I advanced search on their social media accounts. If more than two come up more than twice, that’s a big red flag.
Cam: Like?
Ally: Misandrist. La La Land. “Crash the movie,” all one phrase. Steelhead trout. “Well, actually,” full phrase.
Cam: Yeah, I have to see if the people I’m dating use affected and effected incorrectly. And also, you know, if they collect haunted dolls.
Samuel: Oh, you never know.
Cam: You. Never. Know. And then you go home with them and wake up face to face with Annabelle the Porcelain Baby from Hell. Oh, and if someone’s dating profile doesn’t have a photo of them with other people, big red flag. How do I know if you have friends if you don’t have a fun photograph of them?
Ally: And how do you know if they have friends if all they do is post selfies of themselves? Ooh, ooh, this one: If they have a large presence on LinkedIn, not the fake one, and not on accident.
Samuel: Oh, oh, I have one. What if they don’t know the butcher and baker by name, you know? Then I feel like they might just be disrespecting the kinda, the basics?
Cam: Yeah, y’know, forget the candlestick maker. They can pound sand.
Ally: I-- Okay. If you don’t have a strong opinion about Kanye - the worst. Ooh! The Fast and the Furious, or The Devil Wears Prada - Meryl Stree? Bomb. Like, engage in popular culture, please.
Mattie (as subway station announcer): Well, hey there, party people, we got a train coming our way. We here at the train company know that it’s a little tight, but we’ll get you to where you need to go. Have a good day, and we’ll try to do better tomorrow.
Cam: That is too folksy for a large city!
Ally: So, what are you doing up this early, Samuel Clemens a.k.a. Mark Twain a.k.a. oh my Samuel, oh my Samuel, oh my Samuel, Clementine? See what I did there? Cam’s forced to edit grammar, as you’ve seen, and I need to get a prescription that no one will fill within 50 blocks, so here I am.
Samuel: I’m just here for fun.
Ally: Hm?
Samuel: Actually, I should get back to work pretty soon.
Cam: Wait, I thought that’s why you were getting on the train?
Samuel: Nope, I work from home.
Ally: You do know that it costs money every time you come in, right?
Samuel (scoffing): Well, less than a cup of mud is worth spending time with my new roommates slash... friends?
Ally: Gross. Red flag, someone being nice to me to my face on a regular basis.
Cam: Mmm. Agreed. Just throw some spice in with the sugar so I know it’s real.
[Train arrives]
Samuel: I think that says more about you two than the people you’re calling that a red flag for, but, y’know, I’m not gonna investigate that any further. Hey guys, the train is here.
Cam: Okay. Game face.
Ally: You first, mon ami!
[Cam attempts to shove himself into the extremely crowded train, struggling the entire way]
Ally: Uh, excuse me?
[People politely part for Ally and she steps on easily]
Ally: Thank you.
[The train door begins to close, but something seems to be blocking it]
Samuel: Bye! Make new friends! Make good choices!
Ally: Go home, Samuel.
Samuel: Mm, okay. Bye! (laughs) Aww, they’ll make great choices. Well, I mean maybe not great choices. They’ll make choices. Well…. No, it’ll be fine.
Mattie (as subway station announcer): Stand clear of the closing doors!
Cam: Samuel, you gotta...stop holding the door.
Samuel: Oh, sorry! Bye!
[Musical stinger as we transition to SCENE 2. A train arrives in the subway station. Ally rushes out of the station with grocery bags in hand]
Ally: Fudge… fudge fudge fudge fudge fudge...
Mattie (as subway station announcer): The Delta train will arrive in 10 minutes.
[The train leaves the station, a brief pause before:]
Mattie (as subway station announcer): The Delta train will arrive in two minutes.
[After the arrival announcement, Mattie can be heard over the train announcements]
Mattie (regular human voice, to a co-worker, but still over the announcements): Hey, Mike. Yeah, I know, it’s a hot one, they gotta fix the radiator in here. We’re like, sweating. I’m gonna take a walk to, y’know, stop sweating. I feel it everywhere, it’s just-- Why’s that red light still on..? Is this off? Oh, fu-
[Crackle of the mic as Mattie slams it off. As it squeals, Ally hustles back up the stairs. She’s out of breath, and immediately runs into someone on the platform]
Ally: Why’re there so many steps? Excuse me, move-- Oh god! Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, that’s me, I’m so sorry. My fault, my fault, ha ha.
Mattie: Oh hey, no problem. No problem. You look like you were in a rush, absolutely grounds to plow right into a complete stranger.
Ally (out of breath): Yeah, I mean, I did have a good reason. I’m late to work. I work at this bar, Hopping Mad? Get it, like the beer?
Mattie: Ha ha, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just take it easy. Take a deep breath, y’know?
Ally: Thanks. But then I had to get a prescription for my arm? I got this weird bumpy stuff - it’s itchy, it’s not going away--
Mattie: Snakeskin?
Ally: No, no, no like, it’s closer to--
Mattie: Alligator scales?
Ally: Closer, but no. Y’know--
Mattie: Dragon scales!
Ally: Yeah, probably. It flakes and comes off as one piece and it’s nasty.
Mattie: Very magical.
Ally: It’s nasty! So I had to go to CVS and then when I was at CVS, they were having this bonkers sale on Ben and Jerry’s. Eight for 20! Eight for 20!
Mattie: Wow.
Ally: Can you believe it? Oh my god, Ben and Jerry’s, so expensive. But you had to buy eight for the discount. And they had like, my favorite flavor: Non-dairy PB&J. Ooh! It’s so good. It’s so good, so I got it. I had to get it.
Mattie: Oh wow. It must be really rare.
Ally: Yeah, yeah. And we don’t have a freezer at work for communal stuff, but, y’know, the dishwashers do put their weed in there, they say it’s better, don’t know why. Don’t trust them.
Mattie: 42 degrees, blaze it. Y’know.
Ally: Sure, I don’t-- I don’t know what that means--
Mattie: Oh sure, cool, that’s fine--
Ally: But, so I had to come all the way home, stuffed the ice cream in my freezer, I think I left my keys in the door - fudge - well, anyways, gotta go back to work, so. (laughs) Hi.
Mattie: Hi.
Ally: Woah. I just said… I just said all of that--
Mattie: Yeah! Out loud.
Ally: Yeah. Cool. Well, y’know, since I’ve already embarrassed myself--
Mattie: Nah.
Ally: Yeah, yeah yeah. Lemme say one more thing, lemme say one more-- Ha. Ya cute.
Mattie: Ha, I know. Thanks, though. You too.
[Ally laughs. A train whooshes by, and Mattie grabs Ally]
Mattie: Stand clear of the tracks when a train is coming into the station.
Ally: Ah.
[Musical stinger as we transition into SCENE 3. Music plays as Cam texts]
Cam (texting to group text): Anyone else get that weird gif from Gillian with no context?
Ally (texting): First of all, it’s pronounced gif. The bear riding on a tricycle? It was weird but endearing.
Cam (texting): lol true. Except for the gif part.
Samuel (texting): Are you guys just typing “G-I-F”? Lol. I don’t think I got that gif-- gif. I don’t think I have her number.
Ally (texting): I’ll send it to you.
Cam (texting): It’s the only thing I’ve gotten from her since she’s moved out lol. biking bear = better than nothing? Shrug emoji.
Ally (texting): No shrug emoji! It makes me think you’re a little boy who doesn’t know what’s going on. “I don’t knowwwwwwwwww.” Never again.
Samuel (texting): Heh heh heh, bump.
Cam (texting): What, since when?
Ally (texting): +1
Cam (texting): No bump! No plus! Minus! Minus 1!
[The train Cam is on grinds to a halt, and everyone in the train tumbles forward a bit]
Cam: Ugh!
Lana: You gotta be kidding me!
Mattie (as subway station announcer): Hey, everybody. I know you’re out here on this Friday evening enjoying your ride home to your loved ones, relaxation, and maybe a nice cold beer. Unfortunately, I have to tell you that we’re taking a brief pause here.
Cam: Brief pause here?! We’re stuck!
Mattie (as subway station announcer): This will only happen momentarily, but take this opportunity to look out the window and soak in the scenery. See the bustling life around you, maybe peek into the life of an apartment dweller you haven’t met and probably never will, or contemplate the wondrous street art that dots our fine city.
Lana (at a distance): Unless I want to look at the homeless population that is a blight on the mayor’s records, or the traffic problems that have only ballooned from the lack of oversight on taxis and Ubers, I will not look out the window.
Cam: Right?! I refuse. Also, this announcer is too chummy.
Lana (at a distance): Way too chummy. You’re not my camp counselor.
Cam: You’re not my cool, backwardS-chair substitute teacher.
Lana (at a distance): Ha ha, yeah. You’re not my Jewish youth group leader who is studying to be a rabbi and inexplicably has three kids already.
Cam: Nice!
[The train jerks forward]
Mattie (as subway station announcer): Alrighty, the train is now moving. This stop is Johnson Avenue. See you later, y’all. We’ll try to do better tomorrow.
[People spill out of the train, and Cam looks around for Lana]
Cam: Hey, were you the one doing sick burns on the train announcer?
Lana: Yeah! Nice to know you’re corporeal and not a disembodied voice. Well, see you later, real person.
Cam: Oh, hey, um, where are you going?
Lana: This new bar down the street, Brothers. Gotta check it out, be abreast of the drinking situation around my subway stop.
Cam: Abreast?
Lana: Yeah, know what’s going on, vis a vis, in this case, bars and other drinking establishments.
Cam: No, ha, I know what abreast means. I’m just-- never mind. Would you like company at said new drinking establishment? I want to hear about more things you hate.
Lana: Hmmm. The new Deal or No Deal, cupcakes with too much frosting, and sure, I’d like that.
Cam: Ah, cool, awesome. Just let me drop my stuff off at my apartment and I’ll meet you there in like... half an hour?
Lana: Yeah, here’s my number. Keep me abreast of the situation, vis a vis, you.
[Phone noises as Lana put her number in Cam’s phone]
Cam: Yes, great, cool.
[Cam begins walking towards the apartment and whips out his phone as soon as he’s out of Lana’s eyesight]
Cam (texting to group text): What up, fam? Going on a cool date shortly at a cool new bar, Brothers. But let’s kick it after?
Samuel (texting): Ah, yes, the Brothers Bar and Grill. I have been meaning to go there. They have advertised great deals on both well drinks and happy hour drinks. Thumbs up.
Ally (texting): Aw, dunk, I can’t go, I got a date too. We’re meeting at the Johnson Stop and then heading into the city. Monorail emoji.
Cam (texting): Thumbs down.
Ally (texting): Wait! Let’s all just meet up together at Brothers. Samuel, you’re coming. We should make it a double date plus Samuel!
Cam (texting): lol you think they’ll like that?
Ally (texting): Probably.
[Ally flips to a new text]
Ally (texting): Hey, before we go into the city, there’s this great bar we should go to, Brothers. So happy it opened, it replaced this Thai place that I got food poisoning from at least five times. Fool me once, shame on me, fool me five times, haha! Shutdown by the health inspector, haha lol. My roommate Cam is also having a date there, so let’s make it a double together? And also my roommate Samuel will be there, so we should make this a double date, plus Samuel. He’s very tall.
Mattie (texting): haha sounds good. The next train arrives in 30 minutes. See you there?
[The message sends, and then a beat later: ] Mattie (texting): The train is our date. If that wasn’t clear.
[Ally screenshots the conversation before flipping back to the group chat and sending the image]
Ally (texting to group text): See, totally chill. Samuel The Manuel, wanna come?
Samuel (texting): Oh yay. I have been invited, so I will be there.
Cam (texting): Um? Why did you tell her about getting food poisoning all those times?! That’s a terrible move.
Ally (texting): What? Why? What’re you even talking about? She liked it when I told her about all the ice cream, so... Also, I bought a ton of ice cream, check the fridge. Ice cube emoji. Cow emoji. Hugging emoji.
Cam (texting): Overshare. Big red flag.
Ally (texting): What?! No red flag! Blue flag! White flag by Dido!
Cam (texting): China flag emoji.
Samuel (texting): Denmark flag emoji.
Cam (texting): Five Albania flag emojis.
Samuel (texting): Saudi Arabia flag emoji. Oops, that was a mistake, guys. But still, super good flag, right?
Ally (texting): Hold on, I’ll ask her.
[Ally flips over to the text chain with Mattie]
Ally (texting): Hey, do you think I’m weird?
Mattie (texting): Haha no. See you tonight!
Ally (texting): See you tonight!
[Ally screenshots the conversation again, then flips to the group text]
Ally (texting): See!
Cam (texting): Ally, you’re one of my best friends. But remember that part in Les Mis when they wave that giant flag during the Act 1 Finale? That is how big your red flags are.
[Montage texting music ends and fades into a musical stinger as we transition into SCENE 4. Cam, Ally, Mattie, and Lana are heading up to the Johnson Ave station]
Mattie: I liked Samuel. He was such a character. Who knew he knew so much about flags?
Ally: I know, right? So weird that he was talking about that the whole time. Even after I kicked him under the table to stop, he just kept going.
Cam (to Lana): You sure it’s alright if I crash your friend’s birthday party?
Lana: Absolutely. She’s not really my friend, it’s not really her birthday. It is awkwardly standing around her tiny apartment listening to house music. Besides, I have a bunch of stuff we could do tonight, and the bar was definitely a beginning-of-the-night spot. So, I just want to keep abreast of my options, you know?
Cam (gritting his teeth): Ha ha ha, yeah. So glad we’re all going to the same stop that Ally’s going to so she heard that.
Ally (to Lana): Uh...Sorry Lana, I kinda missed what you just said? Could you just say that again, please?
Lana: I want to keep abreast of my options?
Ally: Ahhh. Got it. (low, to Cam) Morocco flag.
Cam (whispering): Look, I don’t know flags that well, I don’t know that one offhand.
Ally (whispering): It’s a red flag. With a green star. I did my research.
Mattie: A party sounds fun! You know, I wouldn’t ordinarily get back on a train on the weekend. When I go to the city, it’s like I’m at work.
Ally: You work for the trains?
Mattie: You don’t recognize my voice? I feel like everyone recognizes my voice.
Ally: Uh, no. What, you’re like a busker?
Mattie: No, okay, how about this…
Mattie (as subway station announcer): Attention all passengers. Sorry for the delay. Please expect crowding on the Delta Line. You can talk to your neighbor about the phases of the moon. You can see a waxing gibbous as we speak! We’ll try to do better tomorrow.
Lana: Oh, no.
Cam: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Ally: Oh my god! You’re the announcer person from the train! That’s so cool.
Mattie: Yeah, y’know, I guess. Everyone hears my voice and I have to break bad news all day to everyone. And wherever I go in the city, it’s like I'm at work, which is a whole other thing, but… It’s pretty cool, so...
Ally: Yeah, that is cool. You know you could take the bus, right..?
Mattie: The bus? A rail professional like me? I wouldn’t be caught dead in one of those eight-wheeled monstrosities.
Ally: Right…
Lana (whispering to Cam): I’m gonna ask her.
Cam (whispering): Ask her what?
Lana (whispering): Ask her why she says all the wack stuff she does on the train!
Cam (whispering): I mean, are you sure you want to do that?
Lana (whispering): Yeah! This is our chance to find out! What am I gonna do, not take it?
Cam (whispering): Well, uh, y’know, that would ruin Ally’s chances with her, if you blow up her spot and she gets all worked up about it and-
Lana (whispering): Cam, I’m having a great time with you tonight. And if that continues, hopefully, I’ll keep you abreast of the situation.
Cam (whispering): That was an innuendo to your body that time.
Lana (whispering): It was.
Cam (whispering): Gah, yes, well, ask away. I’m interested in the discord you’re going to bring up and how we can come together as a city community.
Lana (to Mattie): Oh, wow, cool, cool, cool cool cool cool cool. Um, so what specifically do you do for the train?
Mattie: Well, I keep riders informed about what’s happening with the trains that day, let them know about delays and the next stops and whatnot.
Lana: And everything you say is written down, right? Someone gives you a script?
Mattie: Oh, no, I have some room to improvise. It’s my way to connect with the ridership and soften the blow of bad news.
Lana: Ah. Well, as a rider of the Delta line, I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that those announcements suck. They suck hard.
Mattie: Are you kidding? I put my heart and soul into those readings!
Lana: Not kidding. Terrible! Dreadful! Horrible! Ugh, and you get all down-home all the time. Why do you even do that?! We live in the city, nothing is down-home about anything! Tell ‘em!
Ally: Yeah, tell ‘em, Cam...
Cam: I, well, you know, adopting a folksy tone is a rhetorical way to... reach out to the people, and it’s not... my cup of tea.
Mattie: Is this a prank show? Am I being punked? Because this is so not cool! Like, what?
Lana: Do you know what I do immediately as I enter the train? I put on noise-canceling headphones. Not even with anything on!
Mattie: Wow.
Lana: Just to cancel out even the chance that it’s you speaking to me and laying down the most horrendous thing my ears would ever take in.
Ally: Okay, we get it! You don’t like it! But when you bring new tech into this, that’s just going above and beyond.
Mattie: (screaming at Lana) Get out! Get off my railway!
Cam: Noise-- noise-canceling headphones are not new--
Lana: Fine! Don’t come to this party! We’ll be there. Or somewhere--
Mattie: Okay!
Lana: And we’ll get there... by bus!
Mattie: Sure, take a primitive--
Lana: COME ON, CAM.
[Lana storms off]
Mattie: --means of transportation. Yeah! I hope you get there! With all that “regular traffic”. Good luck!
Cam: Okay, okay. You know what, I’m right behind you!
Ally: Cam!
Cam: Sorry, sorry. But I think we’re gonna make out later.
Ally (sarcastic): My god. If only there were some sort of way to have foreseen such a wild thing happening with her.
Cam: Ignoring all flags, gonna make out. Bye! Got blinders on, don’t see flags!
[Cam runs away after Lana]
Ally: Bye...
Mattie: How could she have a problem with me? I’m just one person. We do it all over the city. It’s not just the Delta line, that’s just where I work. Go fight with the other announcers on the other lines. Damn. I should have said that...
Ally: Hey, it’s totally okay. You don’t have to defend yourself to me. I still think you’re great and I want to hear all about your job. I mean, you must have some really cool perks, like being able to ride the rails all day, and probably for free. At my bar, you’d think I’d be able to drink for free. But who can really drink for free, unless you’re like Sean Puffy Combs, who always drinks for free. But people don’t get that so they offer to take shots with me, so I do. I’m not gonna be rude to someone who paid an extra six bucks to have a good time. But in the back of my head, I’m always thinking, “Oh no, Ally, you’re breaking the law, drinking on the job.” But I also think, “Oh no, Ally, you’re so rude in your profession when it’s all about being nice to people.” And really I’m thinking, “Wow, my job is the worst and I’d like to stop thinking,” so I take another shot just so I don’t have to--
Mattie (interrupting): I can’t... I can’t… I can’t with this! This is too much.
Ally: Too much what..?
Mattie: The oversharing! I thought it was a cute quirk, like, “Hey, I love talking about bacon,”--
Ally: I like bacon.
Mattie: -- but this is too much. Every single person I’ve ever hooked up with who told me this much about their life right from the jump was bad news, way too intense, or both. And this is just… a lot.
Ally: What’re you talking about? Oversharing?! I’m not oversharing! I’m just trying to get to know you and tell you fun things about me!
Mattie: Vomiting from Thai food? Your big ex-boyfriend? And why did you recount the ten times that you broke bones in vivid detail?
Ally: Those are delightful anecdotes about me, my family, where I grew up, and what it’s like to have a poor sense of directions in the woods! Like, who doesn’t get lost in the woods? You know! It’s flirting stuff!
Mattie: Hey, y’know, you seem fun and everything, but I’m getting off at this stop. Stand clear of the closing doors.
[Mattie walks off]
Ally: No! I’m not a red flag. I’m a very interesting, fun person! ...Well, there go my plans.
[Ally pulls out her phone]
Ally (texting): Hey, SAM-U-L M N O P, you got plans?
Samuel (texting): Hey, Ally-M N O P. I’m still at the Brothers establishment. Where did you guys go?
Ally (texting): Nowhere. I’ll be there in a few. I need to drink. Lots of drinks. Beer emoji. Surfer emoji. Winky face emoji.
Samuel (texting): Heh, lol. White flag emoji. Winky face emoji. Saudi Arabia flag emoji. Oops. Sorry.
[Musical stinger as we transition into SCENE 5. Cam, Ally, and Samuel trudge up the steps to the subway stop]
Ally: Ugh, my head. Why you do this to me, alcohol?
Samuel: It was fine until they brought out the spinning wheel of deals. Two dollar shots of Jameson is a deal with the devil, right?
Ally: Too loud.
Cam: Ah...Is that what you got into last night? You both sent me like a thousand China flags at 1 AM.
Ally: Worth it.
Samuel: That is a really, really good joke, guys.
Ally: It’s a really good joke. And how about you, Mr. I-Care-About-Word-Choices-Because-I’m-A-Professional? How was the party with Ms. I-Use-Abreast-A-Lot-But-I-Still-Yell-At-Employees-Of-The-Metropolitan-Train-System?
Cam: Okay, first of all, her full name is Hates-The-Train-Announcements-Girl. And I had a good time with her. We... definitely made out. And I touched her bod.
Ally: Gross.
Cam: Mhm. It’s true.
Ally: Still gross.
Samuel: Cam made out. That’s good. Another very successful date. Congratulations.
Cam: Thank you, sir.
Samuel: You’re going to see her again?
Cam: Yeah...Probably not. I mean, who flips out like that? Also, I saw I put Hates-The-Train-Announcements-Girl in my phone and it really turned me off. Just, it’s a bad omen for what’s to come.
Ally: Whatever. You were right, I was wrong. I am a giant trash fire person, burn all your trash on me, please.
Cam: Aw no, that’s not true. You’re a small trash fire, which warms our apartment and is fun to be around. Children sing in circles around you.
Ally: Oh my god, that’s kinda sweet. And also, terrible.
Samuel: Hey, so, um... it’s been fun talking, guys.
Cam: Yeah.
Samuel: Talkin’ and walkin’. What’re we doing up here?
Ally: We’re gonna get breakfast sandwiches.
Samuel: Oh! Right. Yeah.
Ally: Yeah.
Cam: Mhm. Yeah.
Samuel: You know the deli’s downstairs?
Ally: What?
Cam: Oh.
Ally: Why... why did we come up here?
Cam: Ah. Probably just force of habit.
Samuel: Is there not like a super-secret deli up here? I was just following you guys.
Ally: Oh my god...
Cam: Samuel L. Jackson Clemens, please, next time, just tell us if we’re screwing up.
Samuel: Got it. I will always tell you you’re screwing up.
Cam: Just… when.
[Ally groans as the trio trudges back down the station stairs. We hear the faint call of an announcer…]
Mattie (as subway station announcer): We’ll try to do better tomorrow.
Ally: Ugh, shut up!
[NEXT STOP outro plays]
NEXT STOP is a Multitude Production created by Eric Silver. You can find our full cast list, credits, and transcripts at NextStopShow.com